Researching “postpartum depression” is probably the last thing you expected to have to do. Dealing with physical postpartum recovery is challenging enough, combine that with sleepless nights, exhausting feedings and overwhelming feelings—it doesn’t feel fair, and no partner truly understands.
How do you determine if what you’re experiencing is normal “growing pains” that come with new motherhood or something deeper and more destructive? Mommy Labor Nurse, Liesel Teen, shares common symptoms of postpartum depression, provides helpful tips and explains the difference between baby blues and postpartum depression. You will get through this.
What is Postpartum Depression?
Postpartum depression (PPD) is a severe form of depression that starts following the birth of a baby. While postpartum depression may start anytime within the first year of baby’s life, most women are affected within the first few months. According to the National Institutes of Health, PPD occurs in 6.5–20 percent of women. The percentage is likely higher since many women never seek help or know they’re suffering from PPD.
Signs of Postpartum Depression
PPD presents in myriad ways to new moms, which can make it difficult to identify—there is no cut-and-dry diagnosis. Below are common symptoms, but it’s not necessary to experience all the signs to be struggling with PPD. It looks different for everyone, but PPD symptoms typically show for at least two weeks.
- Feeling sad, numb or hopeless
- Inability to focus or concentrate
- Crying often, sometimes without knowing why
- Fatigue and difficulty sleeping and/or eating
- Feeling guilty, overwhelmed or worthless
- Feeling disconnected and/or withdrawing from your support system
- Losing interest in hobbies or preoccupations you cared about
- Feeling irritated or angry often
- A perceived lack of bonding with baby
- Suicidal thoughts
- Thoughts of hurting baby
Think you might be experiencing postpartum depression? Consider taking the online screening test at www.postpartumhealthalliance.org/screening-test and sharing the results with your healthcare provider.
What to Do if You Have Postpartum Depression: 12 steps towards recovery
1. SEEK HELP.
Seeing a therapist can significantly improve your mental and emotional state. Having an unbiased third party who listens, empathizes and guides is so valuable. Your experience is unique to you, so individualized care is probably the fastest route to recovery. If you aren’t sure where to start, talk to your doctor, contact Well-Mamas Family Counseling at www.wellmamascounseling.com, or call one of these numbers:
- Postpartum Health Alliance: 619-254-0023
- San Diego Access and Crisis Line: 1-888-724-7240
Both are available 24 hours/day, 7 days/week in English and Spanish. They can listen, offer support and help find mental health resources.
2. SELF-CARE.
You can’t take care of anyone else if you aren’t taking care of yourself. Self-care is one of the most difficult—and one of the most important—parts of postpartum. Self-care can be as simple as taking a bath or meeting with a friend. Ask a family member to sit with baby a couple times a week to give you some peace and quiet.
3. EXERCISE.
Not only is postpartum exercise one of the best ways to get your body back in shape, it also supports mental health. Put baby in the stroller and go for a walk—every day, if possible. When exposed to sunlight, serotonin levels increase while melatonin levels decrease. That means there’s a scientific reason for getting fresh air. Exercise has also been proven to decrease stress, so it’s a win-win.
4. EAT WELL.
Nutrition plays a significant role in brain function. After childbirth (and especially when breastfeeding), bodies need more nutrients to heal and recover, so give your body what it needs. Eating healthy snacks and meals will help provide stamina to get through each day.
5. SEEK FAMILIAL SUPPORT.
Being vulnerable and asking for help is especially difficult for people who view it as weakness or failure. Everyone needs support at times. Do yourself, your baby and your loved ones a favor by continuing to engage with them. Vent to someone who demonstrates unconditional love and validates what you’re going through. Avoid people who are judgmental, critical or who think depression is a choice.
6. HIRE A DOULA.
Not only do postpartum doulas assist with newborn care, but they take care of babies so new moms can sleep, take a shower, etc. Having someone to validate worries and fears, help around the house (without judgment), and ease mothers into their new role is priceless.
7. FIND A “VILLAGE.”
Look for an in-person group to join that has moms with babies around the same age. It can be rewarding to do life with people who’re going through the same phases and life transitions. Such groups can provide support, validation and shared experiences. Local groups include San Diego New Moms Network, Fit4Mom, MOPS, San Diego County Breastfeeding Coalition and others.
8. PRACTICE BONDING WITH BABY.
Bonding with baby can be especially challenging for women suffering from PPD. Don’t feel guilty if it’s a struggle—it may just come a little slower for you. Bonding is incredibly important because it’s when babies learn to form healthy attachments that impact their entire life, but it’s OK to take it slow. Practice low-key activities such as rocking, singing, skin-to-skin contact or cuddling. Do what you can and know that you’ll get there.
9. WRITE DOWN FEELINGS.
Writing (or journaling) is a great way to release feelings you don’t want to share with someone, and it can be very cathartic. When you’re done writing, consider ripping up paper containing negative or overwhelming feelings to symbolize them leaving your body. Regardless of how you do it, do not keep negative feelings inside or only to yourself.
10. JOIN A MOMS FACEBOOK GROUP.
Facebook groups are a good option if you can’t bring yourself to join a physical group. While these groups can be helpful, be cautious as you don’t want to join a group that does more harm than good. Find a community where helpful opinions and ideals are shared and respected.
11. GET SOME SLEEP.
Crazy talk, I know. I realize sleep is already a priority, but it can’t be emphasized enough that getting sufficient sleep will help in many ways, including improve mood. You’ve heard it before, but take naps and sleep when baby sleeps. Don’t spend that time catching up on household chores, running errands or making phone calls. Give yourself permission to let those things go for a while. If the house gets out of control, call for backup and be OK with giving others a chance to help.
12. REMEMBER, IT’S A PHASE.
Postpartum depression is awful, but it does not define you. It’s not who you are; it’s a phase you are experiencing. Life is hard right now, and it’s difficult to imagine it getting better, but it will. Take it one day at a time, and hang in there. I’m cheering for you every step of the way.
How Does PPD Differ from Baby Blues?
Postpartum blues (aka baby blues) is a minor form of postpartum depression. A whopping 80 percent of new mothers experience baby blues.
Baby blues symptoms:
- Feeling sad, moody or irritable
- Having trouble eating and sleeping
- Indecision
- Feeling like an inadequate mother
What causes baby blues?
The extreme changes to your hormones and new lifestyle are often contributors to baby blues. It usually happens soon after birth, but only lasts a week or so. Once your hormones level out, baby blues will typically improve.
Liesel Teen, BSN, RN, is a labor and delivery nurse, founder of Mommy Labor Nurse and a mother of two kids. Follow her on IG @mommy.labornurse for education, tips and solidarity on all things pregnancy, birth and postpartum.
